Self Destructive
by My one true love
Summary: Future fic. No spoilers. They're 36 when Brooke calls Jake out of the blue and asks him to meet her. The conversation is full of surprises as Jake tries to save Brooke from being self destructive.


_A bake oneshot that was for a challenge quite a long time ago. _

**Self-Destructive**

Jake sat at the bar, his eyes on the door as he waited for her to arrive. He'd been shocked when he'd gotten home to find a message asking him to meet her that night. He wasn't sure at first if he should go since they hadn't spoken in fifteen years. Things had not ended well with them and he wasn't sure that he wanted to go through it again. But in the end his curiosity had won out, so there he was waiting for her. When would she get there?

At that moment she appeared in the doorway, her eyes sweeping over the crowd. When their eyes met, a smile formed on her lips completely transforming her face. God, she hadn't changed in the fifteen years since they'd last seen one another. They'd been 21 the last time he had laid eyes on her and what a time they'd have - until the end. But he'd gone into it knowing that things would end badly - he just hadn't cared at the time. Kind of like now. He knew that there was nothing good that could come of this meeting, but here he was.

He raised his bottle in acknowledgment before lifting it to his lips. She wove her way through the room, drawing eyes from many of the occupants. He couldn't really blame them since he couldn't keep his eyes off of her either. She wore a snug black dress that fell mid-thigh and her hair was pulled up, giving everyone a full view of that beautiful face of her's. The face alone was enough to draw attention but when you added the body it just blew your mind. "Hey, Jake." She leaned over to place a light kiss on his cheek, running her hand over the back of his neck.

Jake closed his eyes for just a minute before giving her a tight smile. "Brooke."

She settled herself on the stool next to his and smiled at the bartender. "Can I get a Vodka Cran please?" She ran her finger over his hand.

"Uh...yeah...sure...one sec." The young bartender's eyes widened and he hurried about to get her drink.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" She looked at him innocently.

"You know what Brooke." Jake shook his head. "Why do you tease guys? Do you really still need to be told that you're gorgeous?"

She shrugged. "It's always nice to know that I've still got it." She shot the bartender another smile as he slid her drink to her. "Thanks." Turning back to Jake her smile fell from her face. "I'm sorry about this."

"What is THIS, Brooke? Why call after fifteen years? It's not like it's the first time that you've been in town. I don't understand what can be so important that you have to disrupt my life once again." Jake slammed his beer down on the bar. "I don't even know why I bothered to come. I don't think that I want to know what it is you want from me." He shook his head and started to stand.

"No, Jake. Please don't go. I really am sorry to call you out of the blue, but I didn't know who else to go to." Brooke placed her hand lightly on his arm, feeling him tense under her touch. She took a deep breath and when she looked up at him her eyes were brimming with tears. "I really don't have anyone else."

Jake sighed as he slid back into his seat. "What happened this time, Brooke?"

Her shoulders hunched as she looked down again. "I slept with Nathan."

Her words were so soft that he wasn't sure that he'd heard her right. "Nathan?" Jake was so shocked that he couldn't think of anything to say.

"Yes..."

"Brooke, why would you do that? Are you insane?"

"Sometimes I think that I might be." She struggled to smile but was unsuccessful.

"Brooke, this is not a joking matter." Jake shook his head. "I assume Haley found out?"

Brooke nodded. "Yeah...She walked in on us." A single tear slipped down her face. "And since this wasn't the first time that I'd slept with one of my friend's husbands, she won't even speak to me."

"Why are you so self-destructive, Brooke?"

She shrugged. "I have no idea. I've alienated everyone...I was afraid that I'd even alienated you." She paused. "After leaving you like I did."

It was his turn to shrug. "I knew that I was just a replacement for Lucas and another way to get back at Peyton for marrying him. But it still hurt."

"I know..." She paused. "Jake, I don't know how to stop. I keep sleeping with married men and I think that I WANT to be caught." She glanced up at him again as tears began to steadily fall from her eyes. "Since I left you fifteen years ago I've done nothing but ruin marriages. I've slept with so many women's husbands and they've all caught us. I'm surprised that none of them have killed me."

Jake shut his eyes and took another deep breath. "Brooke, that is no way to live. You should be married and having kids yourself. You don't have to settle for someone else's husband. And you REALLY shouldn't be waiting around for Lucas to divorce Peyton. It's not going to happen."

"I should be married and having kids? What about you? Have you tied the knot yet? Or are you still hung up on Peyton?"

Jake shook his head. "No, Brooke. I'm not married. No kids. And I'm not hung up on Peyton. I got over Peyton a LONG time ago. Long before I ran into you the last time. There's been no time for women in my life. Not since I got Jenny back. I've had to focus on working, going to school and taking care of her. My life has been Jenny. Even now that she's grown and off at college, she's still my world. She just moved out this fall." There was a pause as his eyes filled with tears at the thought of his little girl, even though she was less than an hour away. "She seems to think that it's time for me to find myself a woman and move on too." He glanced up at Brooke. "Only, she knows the person that I'm really hung up on." He shook his head. "This was a bad idea. I'm going home. Don't bother calling again, Brooke. I can't handle this." He stood from the bar and headed for the door, making it outside before Brooke caught up to him.

"Jake, please don't leave me." Her face was tear streaked as she clung to him. "I can't stand anyone else to leave me." She shook her head, which she had buried in his chest.

"Brooke, you're on a self-destructive path that I don't want to be on." He pulled away from her, forcing her to look up at him. "I've spent the last fifteen years picking up the pieces. I've got a great job as a lawyer and I'm so close to making junior partner. I can't let anything mess up my life."

Brooke was shaking, so distraught at the idea of her last friend leaving her. "I've done nothing good for the last 18 years of my life. Half of my life wasted. I didn't go to college, haven't had a real job. I've jumped from job to job and place to place. All I've been looking for is a place where I belong." She hung her head. "I thought that my place was with Lucas. But I guess leaving after Nathan and Haley's wedding wasn't the best way to show that. And then expecting him to still be waiting for me when I came back four years later." She glanced back up at him, her eyes dry. "To find him married to Peyton, the entire reason that I had left Tree Hill in the first place. I thought that if I could seduce him he'd come back to me. I didn't realize how badly I had hurt him."

She turned and laid her head against the wall. "Then jumping into your bed and leaving you without a word." She turned back to face him. "I didn't mean to hurt you either. I just thought that you could help me heal, but all it managed to do was remind me of Peyton getting Lucas. You seemed so miserable and I thought it was because of her. Then I jumped from place to place, sleeping with whoever regardless of if they were married or not. Then I ran into Nathan and I don't know what came over me." She shook her head again. "I will never forget the look on Haley's face. They've had enough problems lately. They didn't need me screwing it up even more."

"No, they didn't."

Brooke's face fell. "Okay, well I see where I stand with you. I'll just head back to my hotel. I won't bother you again Jake. Have a good life and I really am sorry." She tried to smile but tears came instead. She spun on her heel and hurried to her car. She was struggling to get her keys in the car door when she felt a hand on her arm. She let out a squeal and sent an elbow into his stomach.

"God, Brooke." Jake was bent over, trying to catch his breath.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. You shouldn't sneak up on women like that Jake. Most of us don't react well to being grabbed at night when we're alone" She leaned over and looked at him, guilt apparent on her face.

Jake struggled to stand upright before nodding. "Yeah, I should've thought of that."

"So, did you need something else Jake?" Brooke wiped a hand across her face as she tried to steel herself for whatever he was going to tell her.

"Brooke, I don't want you to go. I'd like you to stay. I think that you need some help. Therapy, maybe." He shrugged. "I've never gotten over you and the months that we had together. You're the one that I never got over. Please don't leave me again."

Brooke's eyes widened. This was not what she had been expecting. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious. But you have to promise to get help. And I promise that I'll be there for you." He opened his arms and she was happy to slide into them. "I love you, Brooke. Even though we only had a few months together, I still fell in love with you."

Brooke pulled back. "I can't say that I love you, Jake." Her eyes were filled with regret. "I won't say that I love anyone until I can find a way to love myself again."

Jake smiled. "I understand. Let me help you. Let me help you love yourself again so that you can love me. Please?"

She nodded. "I'd like that. I'd like that a lot." She wrapped her arms around him, closing her eyes and enjoying the safe feeling of being in his arms. "Thank you."


End file.
